Posted by: nastylittletruths | September 22, 2010

Three Funerals

I’ve been going to too many funerals lately (it comes with age) and I got up this morning thinking about my father who died 16 1/2 years ago… I don’t know why, but I started to think about what he would have seen if he was still here:

The elevation of Basdeo Panday (a man he had a love/hate relationship with) as Prime Minister in 1995, the first woman PM in 2010, the death of his second son a few years ago, one of his other sons practically a self-made millionaire (not me!), his first great-grandchild, his third grandchild graduating as a medical doctor…

But this post is not so much as events as it is about relationships. I went to the funeral of a man yesterday who was one of my brothers childhood friends. My brother does not live here any more (so someone in the family had to represent), but looked up this guy on every single visit, sometimes spending hours at his garage just talking.  Not a very rich family in material things – but you saw the way he lived his life by the number of people who came out in the pounding rain for his funeral service. What made the event even sadder was that his son-in-law died just last week from a brain tumour and his old mother, while still alive, did not have the mental faculty to understand all that was happening…

And if you ever read an old post here about the Cassava Man from Enterprise, his mother’s funeral a few years ago was a wake-up call for me. One of my good buddies from Enterprise converted to Islam and attends the Enterprise Mosque so I went to the funeral – in the night… I think it was about 9:00 when we got there and I had the shock of my life. Where did all these people come from? A broad spectrum of people and you would have sworn it was some street party – except there was no alcohol of course. Her claim to fame? One of the most charitable and friendliest ladies from the Longdenville Mosque… That’s it – no higher education, no material wealth, no organisations, no political party – just a kind relationship with everyone who crossed her path.

In contrast – last week I went to a funeral of an old public servant whom I knew when we worked in the same ministry and there was only a handful of people – most of whom were friends of his children. It was sobering that here was a man who had educated himself up to university level, had the much admired typical family of two brilliant children, was well read and yet did not make that much of an impact on people’s lives so they came for this, his final rites. Sobering I tell you…

Why then a post out of the main rantings and ravings? Because we get so caught up in, as the old saying goes, earning a living that you forgot that you had a life. If it’s one thing I want to leave you with today it’s that life is all about relationships. I have friends that are closer to me than if they were my blood family. Call one of yours today – and don’t say that you didn’t have nothing to do that’s why you are calling! – say that you haven’t spoken for a while and you wanted to know what’s going on in their lives…



  1. Good advice though too late for some people…

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